


I'm Not Them. Promise.

by ThisStupidAdiction



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bullying, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Sweet, Tumblr AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 05:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisStupidAdiction/pseuds/ThisStupidAdiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is that awkward guy. He decided to start a tumblr-page but didn't thought it would get any visitors. But it got. And some people offered their help. Will Louis be able to save Harry ?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Them. Promise.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first work written in English. There may be a lot of mistakes, so if you see some just tell me and please be indulgent (English is not my mother tongue!).
> 
> Anyhow, this story is partially based on real events. I wanted to write this for a long time but each time I started I wrote a paragraph and stopped. But this time I actually managed to finish it. I hope you'll enjoy it. There's probably a second part coming.

10 - 02 - 2012 / 6.34PM

_Hey everyone._

_I don't really know what I'm doing here. I mean, I've made this tumblr-page because... Let’s face it, I'm desperate and I don't know anymore how to deal with it. So I decided to create a blog where people could just let know to other people what is going wrong in their lives. It would be great if other people just… comment, you know? This way people can try to get over their problems? I'm not stupid, I know this will probably not solve your problems, but I hope this page could offer a little help to people who are hopeless, just like me. It could be like... I don't know... some therapist blog? Or something._

_I hope some people are interested... just, let me know if you want to share._

_Sincerely,_

_Hopeless H._

 

10 - 02 - 2012 / 8.27 PM.

_I'll start with one of my own problems, I suppose._

_You see, I’ve always been a quiet person. I’m really shy and awkward and I hate social interaction. Well, I don’t really hate it, as such. But… You know? I’m really awkward with people I don’t know. I don’t get that awkward when I’m comfortable with the person in front of me. But this doesn’t happen that often. There are probably only four people with whom I’m comfortable enough to have conversations with: my Mum, my Sister and my two friends: Zayn and Liam. And well... There is Nick and Aiden too, of course. We’ll make it six people._  
 _I know this is probably ridiculous, but I hope someone could help me. Because once I’m confronted with somebody else, my heart starts beating like a maniac, I get sweaty and really nervous. Speaking is like a stumbling block to me. So… Does someone out there have a cure? I hope so._

_Hopeless H._

 

It was Thursday evening and Harry had finished his homework and locked himself into his room. He was seated on his bed, laptop on his knees and he was reading the answers he got after the article he posted on his tumblr the day before. He never expected to get any answers, to be honest. He hoped that his blog would help him release this weight that was crushing him, but he would never have thought that his blog would have any visitors. So, when he discovered he had eight answers on his post, he was surprised. Seven of them were people that liked the concept of his tumblr-page or that didn’t know any answer on his question. However, the last comment was a lot different.

 

10 - 03 - 2012 / 2.43 AM

_Hopeless H,_

_I know that I’m probably not helping you, but yeah… I found your tumblr and was really interested in the concept. I’ve seen what you have written and it really hits me ‘cause I know what you’re talking about._  
 _You see, I live with four sisters and one of them seems to be like you. Or kind of. She can’t speak to anyone other than our family members and her one friend. She is really lonely and it’s like… Everyone sees it but no one acts upon it and it tears me apart because she suffers and she doesn’t deserve that. I really try to help her but she refuses any help she’s given._

_So, I suppose tonight I’m doing two things. Firstly, I would really like to help you. You know, trying to get to know you and get you out of that shell you’re hiding in. And I would like to ask for advice myself: does someone know how to get someone to accept your help. I suppose every situation is different and you have to handle them differently but… Could you just give advice and I will try it out?_

_TommoOfDoncasta._

 

Harry had no idea who this Tommo was. But his message was interesting, so Harry found himself on the other lad's blog. There were a lot of pictures. Boys, girls, tattoos. There were some pictures of a concert, and Harry smiled when he discovered it was the concert of The Fray. He also discovered a lot of funny videos and some really interesting quotes. After he went through several pages, Harry found himself sending the boy a message. (He supposed TommoOfDoncasta was that lad who was posing beside Isaac Slade, the lead singer of The Fray, after all, that was the lad who was in most of the pictures on that Tumblr.)

 

10 – 03 – 2012 / 10.55 PM

_Hey, Tommo or whatever your name is._

_I'm glad you answered. I don't know what attracted me in your message but... I don't know... I'd like to get to know you, to talk to you or... whatever. If you're still up to get me out of my shell, just let me know?_

_Hopeless H._

It wasn't before the next day that Harry got news from the mysterious TommoOfDoncasta. Somehow he could not stop himself from smiling when he saw the boy's answer.

 

10 – 04 – 2012 / 11.23 AM

_It would be a pleasure to talk to you. I don't really know how to start but... here's my number. Hell, you could be some paedophile but. I don't know, I feel like I can trust you._

_BTW: my name is Louis :)_

 

Harry smiled and entered Louis' number into his phone before getting back to the other messages he received.

 

On Friday, Harry wondered the whole day if he had to text Louis or if he had to send him a message via tumblr. Harry wasn’t able to focus on his courses, but was constantly looking at his phone instead. Hell, he couldn't even focus on what his friend, Zayn, was saying to one of his other friends, Liam.

"What is happening, Harry?" Liam asked when the boy didn't even look at him when he used one of those nicknames Harry hated the most.

"Eumh, nothing?" Harry replied, not really convinced himself.

“Yeah, nothin’” Zayn replied with a scoff. “You don’t write anything Castillo was saying during Spanish Culture. And you’re always writing down anything that old witch is saying!”

Harry sighed and buried his face in one of the cushions that were lying in his lap. When he looked back at his friends, they were looking at him, expectantly.

“I just have a lot to think about?” Harry offered, not wanting to tell them about his tumblr-page. He knew his friends wouldn’t laugh at him, but he was still afraid of their reactions. So he decided it would be easier if they didn’t know about his blog. But of course, he could not tell them about that Louis-guy because he would have to tell them where he got his number and... Well Liam would go mad, because Liam wouldn’t approve of this.

“If you say so” Zayn said. “But you know you can tell us everything that is bugging you, right? I mean, we know each other since we’re four so...”

Harry smiled and nodded, even if he knew Zayn (nor Liam) was convinced. “Thanks mate but, you know, it’s probably something I have to figure out on my own.” Zayn just nodded, Liam just stared, and so Harry decided to leave the room and locked himself up in his room.  
Like the other evenings, Harry took out his laptop and started it while taking his phone out – again. Resigned, he unlocked it and typed a new message.

 

6.23 PM - _Hey, Louis. This is Hopeless H, well... Harry. I can assure you I’m not some paedophile but I would really like to know you. So... Here you’ve got my number! Hope you’ll text back soon :)_

 

He sent it, but quickly felt like he better not had written the last part. But it was too late. The message was sent and if Louis would hate him, Harry could only blame it on himself.  
During the thirty minutes that followed that, Harry checked his phone 27 times, each time being disappointed there was no answer. So, when his phone’s screen finally lit up, showing him he got a new message, Harry literally threw himself on the electronic. He unlocked it and smiled while reading Louis’ answer.

 

6.57 PM - _Whoop whoop. Relieved you're not some creep :p So, how do we start this thing ? x_

 

Harry forced himself not to answer immediately so he won't seem like he was waiting desperately for an answer. But he didn’t last much more than five minutes without his phone in his hands. The idea of Louis – for some unknown reason – made his really happy, bouncy and… impatient.

 

7.03 PM – _I suppose we should introduce ourselves, no?_

 

Harry hesitated to add a kiss at the end, but he finally decided not to. Even if Louis did, Harry wasn’t sure it was socially acceptable and he wasn’t the kind of person to throw kisses at everyone. And, even if he really wanted to get to know Louis, and hopefully be friends with him, Harry still felt like the man was some stranger. So: no kisses.

 

7.05 PM – _Should we ask each other question? x_

 

Harry smiled and answered quickly that, yes it would probably be the easiest way to start this thing. Both boys started to text each other. They didn’t stop from the whole evening. Even when Harry went to eat with Liam and Zayn, he managed to hide his phone under the table and text Louis.

 

Harry discovered Louis was from Doncaster and had five (half-)sisters: Charlotte, Georgia, Felicite, Daisy and Phoebe. He lived with four of them, Georgia was living with his father so he never really got to see her. (His father left his mother not long after he was born and never wanted to see his son). Recently his mother, Johanna, got divorced from her husband, Mark, and it wasn’t always easy. He tried to take care of his sisters because with his mum being a nurse, it wasn’t easy at home. Aside from that, Louis told him he had recently started studying drama and that he really liked The Fray and that he tended to unnerve his best friend, Niall, because he couldn’t stop singing their songs.

Harry had answered that he actually liked The Fray too. He told him that his father also left them behind and told him about his studies (English Literature).

By the time Harry’s clock hit 2AM, he was still texting Louis, even if he had to fight sleep. Harry couldn’t manage to say good night. It’s like, that Louis-guy had some power on him. It’s like Louis bewitched him, and now Harry wasn’t able to put his phone aside. Wasn’t able to not answer Louis’ texts.

 

2.42 AM – _Perhaps we should meet sometime? This way it would be easier to get to know each other and we could make up a plan to get you out of your shell ;) x_

 

Harry smiled while reading Louis’ text. Yeah, they probably should do that. See each other. In real.

 

2.43 AM – _Where and when?_

2.44 AM – _I dunno, where do you go to college? x_

2.45 AM – _In London..._

2.46 AM – _Well, this makes everything easier. I’m in London too!!! :D So we can meet up... somewhere. Is there some cafe / bar / pub you like? x_

 

Harry was trembling when reading Louis’ last question. Of course there were. No? No. There were no cafe, bar or pubs, Harry liked to go too. He tried to avoid every place where he probably should be talking to other people. Sometimes he would go to Starbucks before his classes, but that’s the only place he went to (Perrie, Zayn’s girlfriend worked there, so Harry at least knew the person he talked to).

 

2.49 AM – _Not really, you can choose :)_

 

Harry was nervous, not wanting to let Louis know he was that awkward. Obviously, the older boy knew he had some problems with social interaction; after all, that’s what Louis was supposed to help him with. But, Harry didn’t like to admit he was that awkward. He didn’t like to admit he doesn’t like to go to parties because it involves too much people. Harry doesn’t like to admit he is lonely.

 

 

Harry and Louis had decided to meet up in a small pub in London. Louis told Harry he really liked to go there on Friday nights with some friends and Harry find himself unable to refuse. So, the next Friday Harry entered a pub, on his own, and spotted Louis immediately. He was surprised to notice that the pub was nearly deserted: beside Louis there was a couple and three friends doing shots at the bar.

“Hey!” Louis said when Harry took place in front of him. They smiled at each other and Harry hoped this won’t be weird, after all they only talked for a bit more than a week.

“How are you doing?” Louis asked while Harry took the list of drinks.

“I’m fine’ Harry replied with a little smile on his lips. “You?”

“Same” Louis replied. There was a little silence that Harry would qualify as awkward before Louis decide to take charge of the discussion. “So, I’m supposed to help you tonight! I already know a little ‘bout you, but I’ll have to know a lot more if I want to try to solve your problems!”

Harry smiled awkwardly and looked at the list.

“There’s nothing much interesting to say about me, really.” Harry replied after having chosen his drink.

“Bullocks” Louis replied. “I’ll ask questions, you answer.”

“Alright...” Harry replied, hesitantly.

Louis smiled brightly and looked Harry in the eyes. “Do you have any idea when you became that shy? Or where you always like that?”

Harry shrugged. He was going to reply when the waiter came to ask their orders. Louis asked for tequila while Harry decided to just ask a coke. Once the waiter left, Harry turned his focus on Louis again. “I suppose I became like this in primary school. When I was in Year Four there was this kid in my class... He liked to terrorise everyone, especially me. He was a year older, because he did two times his third year. When I’m looking back at the events, it seems like some animated film, you know? He was much taller than most of the class, he was fat and not really pretty to see.”

“What happened?” Louis asked. Harry was surprised to see real concern in the guy’s eyes.

“Well, Adam – that’s his name – first started to steel my cookies. But after a month he decided that was not enough and he begun to hit me during the breaks. No one saw and this took place for years. He hit me and called me names a lot. I would often come home with bruises but they were always hidden by my clothes so my parents didn’t catch up with what was happening. At night I would fall asleep after having cried for hours. Sometimes my mother heard me and asked me what was happening but I was too afraid to tell her, because I didn’t want it to become worse. It was already bad enough. But, one day, I tripped over my feet and fell on the ground. Adam just stepped on my hands, without a word.”

“Oh my god!” Louis exclaimed when he heard that. “I’m so sorry, Haz’.”

Harry laughed nervously (because of the story, but also because of the nickname Louis had letting slip) and shook his head, mumbling the worse had still to come. The waiter came back with their drinks and disappeared as fast. Harry took a sip from his coke before he continued his story.

“Of course, I couldn’t really hide my fingers. Our teacher didn’t really noticed, but my Mum and my sister noticed my blue fingers and they went mad. My Mum made me spill everything and she went to the head master. She told him it was inacceptable that this took place in his school and he immediately took measures. And everything stopped.”

Harry took a pause and looked at Louis. The young man was looking at him with awe. “Is that why-“ But Harry shook his head, cutting Louis in his sentence. “No.” He added for good measure.”

“When I entered in secondary school, I met a lot of new people. One of them was this guy called Gaël. At first I thought the guy was weird but I took the time to know him and I decided he was decent. Of course, he was a bit special, but I liked his company. He was everything I wasn’t: he was confident and funny. So, we became friends and for a while he became my only friend. We spend a lot of time together at school. He liked to be sarcastic and to tease me about things. So I did too, but every time I teased him, he hit me. For some reason, I thought it was normal. You know, at first it was just gentle smacks on the shoulders, but it rapidly increased and I rapidly went home with bruises – again.”

Harry took a sip of his coke and Louis was staring at him, mouth wide open.

“During two years I thought everything was normal. We made new friends and they acted just like hi, so I really thought it was normal being. But then I entered in Year Nine and I made new friends in my new class and I discovered Gaël and my other friends were not acting like real friends. However, I was too scared to tell them to fuck off. So I stayed with them. I put up with all their antics, with all the bruises, with all the mockery – because what I thought was teasing, was in fact mockery. During my Tenth Year, I bounded with an old friend, Nick. And I managed to spend a bit of time with him instead of Gaël and the others. But I still felt like I had to spend time with him if I didn’t wanted to be beaten up, so I still spend a lot of time with them.”

“Did that Nick-guy-“ Louis tried, but Harry cut him off. “Nick is a real friend. We have a lot more in common than I had with Gaël and those others. Nick introduced me to Aiden and the three of us got along really well. We still are really good friends, in fact.”

“Did you get rid of those other people?” Louis asked after having taken a sip of his tequila.

“Yes” Harry replied. “Gaël left our school after Year Ten. So, I managed to spend my two last years with two marvellous people, Nick and Aiden. I suppose “end good, all’s good”... But yeah... All of this is probably the reason why I’m scared of people. I’m afraid to trust them, I’m afraid they will laugh at me.”

“Harry, I’m so sorry...” Louis replied. Harry only shrugged and told Louis he got over it. But that he still feared people.

Harry and Louis ended up in a slightly more crowded bar, that evening. Harry was reluctant, but Louis convinced him that the only manner to get over is fear is to face it.

“What do you drink?” Louis asked once they found a table. “A coke is fine.” But Louis raised an eyebrow, a little smile on his lips. “Can’t do, Harry. I mean... You really have to get out of your shell. I promised I’ld do that so: no soft tonight for you!” Harry groaned and watched Louis take off to the bar. A few minutes later he came back with two pints in his hands and handed one over to Harry.

“Do I really have to drink this?” Harry complained. Louis’ only answer was a smile.

“You’re going to try to seduce someone” Louis announced and Harry coughed loudly. “What!”

“You heard me, Harry. You’re going to seduce someone tonight, to try to get over your fear.”

“But-“

Louis smiled. “Or at least talk to some stranger.”

“I’m talking to you...” Harry offered, but he only made Louis laugh.

“That’s not the same!” He replied

When Louis dropped Harry off at his apartment that evening, Harry’s heart was racing. But he had no idea why. Louis had managed to make him talk to a total stranger (some guy called Steven) but had had to show Harry how to handle the situation. But for some reason, Louis had decided to show him by seducing some girl and Harry had felt something within him. He still didn’t really know what it was.

 

10 – 13 – 2012 / 10.31 PM

_Hello everyone,_

_I know it’s been a long time but I promise I’ll try to be more up to date from now on. I would like to thank TommoOfDoncasta because he helped me, and still tries to. I’m glad we met. Also, I got a lot of replies for him, so, Tommo, you’ll find them listed at the end of my article._

_Besides that, I’ve received a lot of questions from your part, so I picked up a few of them and here they are:_

_(1) From HisIrishness: Hello everyone. So... I’m a closed gay and, I don’t know how to announce it to my family. So, I’d like to ask you: does someone have any tips?_  
 _(2) From FutureStar: Hey. I’ve got this friend and she really likes a guy and obviously, he likes her too. But they are both to oblivious. Should I help them ?_  
 _(3) From MysteriousOne: Does someone have advice for quitting smoking? ‘Cause I know it’s a bad habit but I don’t seem to be able to quit._

_That’s everything for today. I’ll update in a few days._

_Hopeless H._

 

After he posted a new article on his Tumblr; Harry took out one of his courses and his mobile phone. He saw he had a text from Louis, asking him if he was able the following day, and answered that he was, before turning to his courses. Not long after that Louis replied with an address and a time and told him not to be late. Harry grinned and started to learn for his presentation.

 

 

When Harry entered the pub the following day, he immediately regretted showing up. The pub was more crowded than the last one and Louis was not alone. He was laughing with a blond guy and Harry felt a knot forming in his stomach. Social interaction.

“Harry!” Louis exclaimed while waving at him. Harry smiled weakly and walked over. “Niall, this is Harry. Harry, this is Niall, one of my friends.” Harry murmured a ‘nice to meet you’ but it was barely audible.

“I’ve heard a lot about you!” Niall said while taking Harry in his arms, causing Harry to feel awkward – again. “It’s nice to meet you.”

When Niall let him go and that Harry looked up at Louis, he saw the other boy looking away. Harry wasn’t sure how to interpret things, but Louis seemed to be ashamed. Harry pushed this idea far away because, Louis could not be ashamed. It’s Louis we’re speaking about. That outgoing guy that decided to help Harry and all that based on some tumblr-page. Whatever it was, Louis seemed to be able to get back to his normal self quiet quickly.

“So, Harry.” Louis said, a bright smile plastered on his face. “If I told you to come here it’s because you are going to spend time with my friend, Niall!”

Harry wasn’t able to restrain his groan, and it made both boy snigger. “I’m not that bad, Harry.” Niall added, probably for good measure.

“You’re ready?” Louis asked while he stood up.

“No, but do I have a choice?” Harry replied.

“Not really!” Louis said. “But don’t worry. I won’t be too far from you, so if it gets too awkward between you, I’ll come and save you.”

And then, without another word, Louis walked over to the bar, leaving Harry and Niall alone. Niall was sipping at his Pina Colada, watching Harry get all awkward. He really wanted to say something, but had no idea how to start a conversation. He let his eyes wander through the pub and they automatically fell on Louis, who was chatting up some guy at the bar. When he saw Harry was watching him, he made a movement with his hands, indicating to Harry that he had to start a conversation and to stop being awkward. Harry sighed and decided to face Niall. If Louis had brought him, Harry supposed the guy couldn’t be that bad.

“So, uhm.... Where are you from?” Harry asked finally.

Niall smiled and repositioned himself in his seat. “I’m from Ireland.” Niall said. “But to be honest, I don’t remember much from over there. My parents moved to England when I was three, and since then I’ve only been to Ireland to visit family at Christmas.”

Harry nodded and a silence took over again. Niall didn’t seem to start a conversation, but Harry was almost sure Louis had told him not to.

“Do you know Louis for a long time?” Harry asked.

Niall shrugged. “I’ve known him since we moved over. His grand-parents lived in our neighbourhood and when he came over, we always played together. When we grew up we became a lot closer and when he moved to London for his studies, we decided to rent something together.”

Harry nodded. “And euhm... Are you working or...?”

“I’m taking courses. I’m studying sound engineering.”

“Sounds interesting.” was Harry’s answer.

Harry really felt like this was a disaster. He couldn’t find any subject of conversation, and he felt jealous of the boy Louis was seducing. All of this was driving him mad and before he knew what he was doing, the boy stood up and left the pub. He was cursing and tried to breathe normally.

 

When Harry barged into his apartment, Liam and Zayn looked at him and asked him what was going on, but Harry passed them without a word and locked himself up in his room. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and he felt weak. He had thought he could be friends with Louis, he had thought Louis would be able to help him. But he was wrong. Of course he had to fall for Louis. Like he had with every guy he met since Year 11.

“Fuck!” Harry shouted while slamming his right foot in his wardrobe.

He heard people knocking at his door, but Harry ignored them. He just wanted to hide. Die perhaps? Things would definitely be easier if he was never born. So Harry buried his head in his pillow, hoping it would be able to engulf him. He hoped he could disappear.

“Harry! Open this fucking door!”

It was Zayn’s voice, but Harry didn’t move. He didn’t want to face anyone. Not Zayn, not Liam. Not even his sister or his mother. And certainly not Louis. He didn’t want to get more humiliated than he already was.

“Harry! There are people here for you.” Liam said not long after Zayn.

Harry’s insides started to take fire.

“Tell them to fuck off. And you should too!”

He was aware this was probably not the right manner to treat his friends, but he could not face them. Not now, and probably never again.

 

When Harry woke up the next day, his eyes were still red and puffy. He had barely slept, to be honest. His whole night had consisted of crying and thinking. Flashes of Adam and Gaël haunted him for the whole night.  
When he took his phone, he saw he had two missed phone calls and four messages. One of Louis, the other was an unknown number. He unlocked his mobile and looked through his messages.

10.57 PM – _Haz, please, don’t be rude! Xx_

10.58 PM – _Liam told me you said we had to fuck off? I promise I just want to help you !!! xx_

11.23 PM – _I hope you’ll reply. I genuinely care about you, whatever you think about me. Xx_

1.05 AM – _‘Night Haz. Call me tomorrow? Hopefully... Xx_

Harry sighed. Louis seemed to feel bad, but Harry didn’t trust himself. He didn’t trust Louis, even if he really would like to be able to. So he just typed a message for him and turned off his phone, before he started to cry again.

8.02 AM – _I’m sorry Louis, but I can’t do it. I’m glad you wanted to help me, but I’m hopeless. Just forget me. Forget my problems. I hope you’ll be able to help your sister. She needs it more than I do._

 

 

He spent his whole week in his bed, sobbing over his past, his present and his future. Well, he didn’t really see which future he was sobbing over because really, who would want someone like him? Who would want some awkward boy. He was not only sobbing for his love life – which he hasn’t, hadn’t and will probably never have – but he was also concerned for his work. Who would want to hire someone who isn’t able to communicate with other people? Who would want some weird boy to work for them?

So, Harry decided not to leave his room. He only left it for food (when Liam and Zayn were in class) and that was once a day, taking everything he needed for the evening as well. He hoped this way everything would be easier. No one would see him, there would be no one to mock him, to embarrass him.

But it wasn’t easier. There wasn’t much to do in his room so he spent the vast majority of his time on tumblr or thinking about Adam and Gaël. For some unknown reason he found himself typing out a new article on his tumplr-page. =he already had answered a few questions and added answers to people’s questions. But now he was writing about himself. Hoping – and this is crazy – that Louis won’t read it. That Louis already would have scrapped him out of his life and that someone else would answer this cry for attention.

 

10 – 17 – 2012 / 11.23 AM

_Hello everyone._

_The past days have been awful for me. I don’t want to annoy you with my silly life, but just so you know, my past has been haunting me. I don’t know if someone has read Beloved by Toni Morrison? For those who don’t know, this is a story about a black woman who was a slave and killed one of her daughters out of love. She didn’t want her to suffer like she did and decided to kill all her children, but only had time to kill one: Beloved. And... Once you’re looking for deeper meanings, you can see that Beloved (she became a sort of ghost) is a symbol for the past that comes haunting the characters._

_Well, this book somehow inspires me. What is happening to them is awful and much worse than what I’m living through, but we could compare it. Someone entered into my life recently and because of that person I’ve started to think about my past. And... I really don’t know anymore where I stand. I don’t know if I have to let that one person in. And if I do, I have no idea how to act. Because, yeah. I’m scared. I’m fucking scared of someone that seems to want to help me._

_My problem, in fact, is that, even if I realised that person could be great and that I care about him, I still feel like I can’t trust him. And... I don’t know if I will ever be able to. Can someone tell me what to do?_

_Hopeless H._

 

It didn’t take long for people to answer.

 

10 – 17 – 2012 / 11.26 AM

_Perhaps you should talk about it. With that person I mean,_  
 _KarnaGelber xx_

 

10 – 17 – 2012 / 11.35 AM

_I don’t know what happened to you, but I know some people have difficulties letting other people in. Maybe you should try to get to know that person better and after that you’ll be able to decide whether he is worth it or not. I hope you’ll be fine._  
 _ThisIsMyLife._

 

10 – 17 – 2012 / 11.46 AM

_Hey. I suppose you’re talking about me and believe me when I say I’m truly sorry for causing misery. I didn’t know you would react like that. I truly care about you, even if we don’t know each other for a long time. When I read your post I was hit by what you wrote. I don’t know why because I’m sure there are millions other teenagers or whatever who write things like that every day. I mean, al teenagers suffer from a depression or are feeling a bit hopeless. It happens to ever one._

_And when you told me what happened to you I just... I just didn’t know how to react because... I suppose there are worse things in the world but, no one deserves what happened to you. And believe me, please. I really wanted to help you. I don’t think that you’re awkward, even if I know that’s what you’re thinking of yourself. What I think, is that you just need to realise that not everyone is like those two idiots. I think you have to see people can like you for who you are. Isn’t that the case with Zayn and Liam?_

_Please, don’t think you’re inferior to other people because of what happened to you. You are wonderful. Just so you know._  
 _I hope you will be able to let me in again. I promise I will take care of you and I won’t try to go to fast this time. We’ll take our time, and we’ll take baby-steps if needed. But you have to gain in confidence. Please. Let me in. That’s all I want._

_TommoOfDoncasta. Xx_

 

Harry was astonished. He didn’t know what to do, how to answer to that, so he just logged out, shut down his computer and buried himself in his blanket.

“Harry, c’mon!” Zayn shouted through the closed door. “Don’t you think you’re exaggerating?”

Harry didn’t reply. He just shrugged, even though Zayn could not see him.

“If you don’t open this door, I’m breaking in!”

Harry sighed, knowing Zayn was dead serious this time. He got up and opened the door. He saw Zayn’s jaw drop, and he kind of expected that because he was far from decent. His hair was greasy and fell in locks before his eyes. His eyes were red and puffy. Dried tears could be perceived on his cheeks and he had no doubt he needed a good shower.

“Have you seen yourself, Harry?” Zayn exclaimed. “You look horrible!”

“Thanks,” Harry murmured while turning his back towards Zayn and getting comfortable on his bed.

“Your mum is here...”Zayn said, hoping to get some kind of reaction of Harry. But the only reaction he got was a shrug.

“God!” Zayn exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. “Go take a shower, Harry. Go reassure your mother and after that go to that Louis-guy, whoever that may be!”

Harry sighed but got up and took some proper clothes out of his closet before he went to the bathroom to take a hot shower.

 

“Harry, honey, how are you?” Anne asked once Harry got out of his shower. “Liam called telling me you refused to come out of your room!”

Harry shrugged and took place beside his mum.

“I’m fine, promise.” Harry lied. “I just have... A lot to deal with and... Yeah. I don’t know how to deal with it. You know?”

Anne smiled and took her son in her arms. Harry knew his mum wasn’t stupid and she probably still thought Harry wasn’t feeling well, but she didn’t push farther, knowing Harry wouldn’t say anything. “Fine. But, you know, if you want to talk about-”

“I know mum, thanks.” Harry cut his mother.

“Fine. You want to go out for dinner this evening? Zayn and Liam could come too.”

Harry hesitated. He really wanted to go out for dinner with his mum, but Zayn was right, he had to go talk with Louis.

“I don’t know” Harry finally said. ‘I have to meet up with someone and, I really can’t delay that. I don’t know how long it will take.”

“It doesn’t matter, baby.” Anne said, smiling brightly. “Just, go talk with that friend of yours and, if your not finished, he can come with you? I mean, if that’s alright by you?”

Harry shrugged. No, it wasn’t alright, but nothing was so... “Alright, we will see. Love you.”

And he took off, Zayn having given him Louis’ address.

 

Harry knocked at the door, waiting patiently that someone opened the door. He heard someone cluttering before the door finally opened. It was Louis, bright smile on his lips, blue eyes sparkling with glee. “Harry!”

Harry smiled awkwardly and fixed a spot on his shoe before he raised his head and looked into the blue orbits of Louis. “I’m sorry...”

That’s all it took for Louis. He took a step in the direction of Harry, closing the distance between both of them. He put a gentle hand on Harry’s hip while his other hand caressed the younger boy’s cheek.

“You don’t need to be afraid, Haz.” Louis whispered while he rested his forehead on Harry’s. “I’m not Adam. I’m not Gaël. I promise you I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Harry closed his eyes and sighed. “I know. But I can’t help it, Lou.”

Louis smiled gently at the nickname and looked Harry in the eyes. “I’m gonna help you. I promise you I’ll show you how stunning you are. You didn’t deserve any of that. And, I know we only met, but you mean a lot to me. And I’m not letting you go that easily.”

“I’m not letting go either.” Harry said before adding “Not anymore.”

Louis smiled and approached his face from that of Harry. They both smiled slightly before their lips connected. It was a small kiss.

“We’ll take it slow, yeah?” Louis said while taking Harry’s hands in his.

“Alright.” Harry answered. The smile that was plastered on his face wouldn’t disappear that easily.

“Do you have anything to do this evening?”

Harry thought about it. Things seemed to be fine with Louis and he should probably return home to go to dinner with his mum and his friends. “No, I don’t.”

“Can we... Just, hang out, then?” Louis asked. “We could talk or watch a film. And I would drive you home after that?”

“We could do that.” Harry agreed before he once more closed the distance between his and Louis’ lips.


End file.
